Her Love Ran Crimson (Crimson Series) Page 4

  “Take a look at it in the mirror and let me know if it’s okay where it’s at.”

  I stand up and examine it. I love the way it will be hidden when I am dressed and is only for me, and it also makes me feel like there is a tiny flickering light at the end of the tunnel. I smile, which is enough of an answer for him. He pats on the table.

  “Well, then let’s do this.”

  He takes a pair of gloves from the box on his station and starts messing around with the adjustments on the machine. He checks the speed and depths of the needles, making sure everything is perfect. Just the sound of the buzzing soothes my soul.

  I take a deep breath, relaxing my body. The second the needle penetrates my skin I can feel the burn. It’s the most exhilarating feeling in the world. I feel alive. I am spiraling out of control in this rush of euphoria. The feeling always brings me to my happy place. I lie still for about an hour as he perfects his piece on my skin.

  After cleaning it up and checking for spots that might not have absorbed the ink, he finally puts the tattoo gun down and turns his machine off. He wipes off the spot and hands me a small hand-held mirror.

  “What do you think?” he asks.

  “Awakened. Thank you.” He wraps it up with some plastic wrap, tapes it down and puts his hand on my shoulder.

  “Glad I can help you out. I want you to take a good look in the mirror when you get home and try to repeat that quote to yourself every day. It will get better and although I love to see you and be able to bring this bliss to you, I really want to see you in a different context sometime soon. If you need me, you know where to find me.”

  I pay for my work and make my way back to the car.

  The sun is setting, casting a pinkish orange glow to the sky. I am still in a trance from what I just did. I feel my phone buzz inside of my purse as I am getting ready to drive away. I sigh as I unzip the top of my purse and fish it out. It’s Frank calling, and as much as I don’t want to answer it and kill my buzz, I know I don’t have a choice. I slide my finger over the screen, answering the call and grumble, “Yeah?” His chilling voice comes over the other end of the call as he barks out at me.

  “Maddie, where are you? I have been waiting for you to get home from school. I need you to run something over to Dixon’s for me.”

  He isn’t asking. “I’ll be home in ten minutes,” I say, feeling defeated once again. Driving over there I get this bone chilling feeling about having to go to Dixon’s house alone in the night time. I am terrified he is going to try and force me to talk to him. I want nothing to do with him. He is the scariest man I have ever met and I know firsthand what he is willing to do to keep Frank from getting out of line. Little does he know that Frank can care less if I am around. Dixon thinks he knows everything about my family, but this time he is dead wrong. I wish I could use this weakness against Dixon. I just don’t know how much longer I can take this and not crack. Sometimes I feel like I have a big, fat target on my back.

  As I pull up and Frank storms outside. I stay put and roll my window down.

  “I don’t know what makes you think you can stay out and not check in with me, knowing I could have something for you to do for me. I pay for your car and the roof over your head. I don’t have to do this, but since your mother manipulated me into adopting you because your father wanted nothing to do with you or your mother, things go my way. Do I make myself clear?”

  I flinch at the mention of how nobody wants me and the only person who did is no longer here. I take the package that he is holding out to me. I turn it over in my hand and stare at it like it will say something to me. I open my mouth to protest, but Frank is no longer standing by my car. I just catch the back of him going into the house and the door slamming. I am scared out of mind thinking about all of the scenarios that can happen while I am doing his errand. I don’t want to go there alone. Nobody besides Frank even knows I will be there, but that doesn’t even matter because nobody will even come looking for me if something happens.

  I reluctantly head toward Dixon’s house. It’s weird how I automatically know where he lives having only been there once; it has been permanently mapped in my brain, which way to avoid going toward. I want to be as far away from him as possible. I try to go as slow as I can, but at the same time trying to blend in with the other drivers around me, not trying to draw attention to myself.

  About ten minutes later, I pull up to the curb and put the car into park. I just want to get this over with as quickly as possible and without any altercations. I grab the package I tossed over to the passenger seat, inhaling a deep breath and holding it in until it burns. I let the air escape my lungs and open my door. I stroll cautiously up to the front door. My steps are hesitant and I have to force my feet to move.

  I finally get the front door and gently knock, hoping if I don’t knock too hard he won’t hear me and I can just leave. Just as I am about to walk away, the front door handle starts moving and I freeze. Petrified, I try to swallow the lump that has formed in my throat. He answers the front door in his boxers. I would move but I am too shocked and repulsed. All of his muscles on display looking incredibly intimidating make me tremble with fear. The first thing my eyes take in are his large arms. They are the same arms that held me down.

  He purrs my name, “Maddison, so nice to see you tonight. I hope you aren’t going to be your usual stuck up self this evening, and you’ll try to play nice.”

  I choke out, “In your dreams. I’m here because Frank sent me. Here is your delivery. I have to go. Frank is expecting me back.” As I turn on my heels to leave he grabs my upper arm stopping me, pressing his fingers so deep into my skin that my eyes well up with tears, but I refuse to let one drop in front of him.

  “I warned you. When are you going to realize I will always win, Maddison?”

  I pull as hard as I can to free my arm then break free clumsily and stumble. I regain my composure and start to walk away quickly. “You already won. Now leave me alone.” I pick up my pace back to my car, jump in, and turn the key. The engine springs to life and I punch it, needing to put distance between me and Dixon.

  Chapter Six

  As I blast through the first intersection, ignoring the stop sign, my rumbling stomach reminds me that I haven’t had dinner. It growls again when a fast-food drive-through looms on my right. I drive in to the restaurant parking lot. I want to scarf down some food as fast as possible so I can get home and go to sleep. I pull up to the menu, order my food, and drive around to pay for it. As I am handing the woman my money, I see Jase inside at the counter. Leaning as far back in my seat as I can, I try to hide because I have simply been through enough today. He looks over in my direction and spots me. I look down hoping he realize I noticed him. If I pretend I don’t see him maybe I can get out of here without any more commotion.

  The lady hands me my change and drink.

  ”Would you like ketchup with that?”

  “Um… No, thank you,” I say not making very much eye contact. I swear people can see my hidden problems if my eyes linger a little too long. I grab the bag out of her hand as fast as I can, so I can get out of here. I put my car in drive and look up to pull away, but am shocked to see Jase is standing in front of my car. I really wanted to avoid this. Dammit! He walks over to the driver’s side.

  “Hey. Were you really going to try and leave without saying hi to me?”

  I groan and manage a barely audible, “Yes.”

  He either didn’t hear me or decides to ignore my response because he holds up his bag of food.

  “Why don’t you park and we can eat together? That is if you aren’t bringing food to someone else...”

  I try, I mean really try to tell my brain to cooperate and say no, but when he is around me it just doesn’t work like it should. “Sure.” I pull my car into the spot next to his.

  When I get out I see him over at a table on the patio. Thank God this place is mostly empty. I wouldn’t want to run into anybody from school. I don’t w
ant to pull Jase into the mess that is my life and have him ridiculed for being seen in public with me.

  I drop my bag on the table, not expecting it to make as big of a noise as it did. I look at him and give him an apologetic smile. I take a seat across from him nerves in full swing, and start taking my food out of the bag. He watches me quietly. I bet he is asking himself a million questions about me. He is about to say something, but quickly cuts himself short. I guess I should break the silence. “So, why are you here alone? Shouldn’t you be at home eating with your parents or something?” For a very brief moment I see sadness in his eyes. I feel bad and immediately regret talking first. Obviously something is going on with him, but he seems to always act like everything is okay. He seems to always be at the right place at the right time when something is going on with me. He gives me a falsified smile.

  “My mom is at a Charity Fundraiser Dinner. She does a lot of fundraising and is rarely home. She’s not really used to me being around yet. I just moved in with her. I was living with my dad before that. I don’t blame her. It’s how she’s done things for a while since the split.”

  “Is that why you came to school so late? Did you not want to move in with your mom?”

  “No. That’s not it at all. It was a…ummm…complicated situation. I love my mom. It was just better for me to live with my dad at the time, but things changed and now I’m here.”

  He looks really confused and hurt about something. I didn’t know if I should push the subject, not knowing where it would lead. I know I wasn’t going to be so forthcoming with my life, so I didn’t push it.

  We eat in silence for the rest of our meal. It is a comfortable silence, though. I can’t help but feel like this is going good. Something is fun about spending the time together. I don’t feel awkward at all. He has a way about making things light and fun. I don’t feel awkward at all. He just has a way of making things light and fun. But that’s probably just temporary. A fleeting thought entertains itself in my brain. What if I told him the truth? But I can’t. I can’t tell anyone. So instead I try to turn the questions on him and see if maybe I can get to know this person who is so easy to be around. This is a huge change for me. After we finished eating I ask, “So what do you like to do for fun?” He looks at me with a huge grin.

  “I love to go rock climbing. There’s something about being free and climbing to the top and looking out and seeing everything around you. It’s a rush to me. Maybe you would like to come with me sometime?”

  Oh no, definitely not. I was shaking my head vigorously. “Thanks for the offer, but I’ll have to say no to that one. I don’t trust some thin rope to make sure I don’t go crashing down a mountain. Sorry. I’m usually busy on the weekends anyway.” Jase got up. I thought he was going to leave after turning him down, but just as I was about to say something, he throws away his trash in the can across the patio and walks back to the table. I relax a bit.

  “Yes, I think you’ll go with me. It’ll be fun. We won’t go on any high climbs. No thin ropes involved. I think you might need a change of scenery. You always look so tense. Maybe getting you out in the fresh air away from the city might do you some good. If you let it, it could be a nice, relaxing time.”

  To me, anything that has climbing and potentially falling doesn’t seem like much fun. I want to protest, but for some odd reason I just can’t do it. I am craving being with him outside of school. I like being with him. I feel at ease around him.

  I finally give in. “Okay, yes.” I really have no idea what I have just committed myself to. We make a little small talk about classes. I tell him how it’s hard to participate because really, nobody likes me there and I am not involved with anything. I am not involved in any type of clubs or extracurricular activities. I am not given the time for a life. I am pretty sure the only reason I am allowed to go to school rather than being forced to run errands for Frank is because it’s a red flag if I’m not there. Since we have already been in the news and teachers know what happened, I’m sure one of them would try and fish around to see what was going on, maybe even come by the check up on me. If they ended up ever coming around this house they might see some things and call it in to the authorities. Then I would be to blame for anything bad that would happen.

  The conversation starts to slow down. I’m sure it’s time for us to go home, but it feels like we are both holding on to the moment, not wanting to go back to either of our houses. But the inevitable can only be put off for so long. I have to get home before Frank starts calling me wondering where I am.

  “Well, thanks Jase. It was nice you asked me to eat with you, but if I want to function tomorrow at school I should really get going.” I feel like I’m on cloud nine right now, but then I hear loud laughter from a car in the drive-thru. I look over to find a car full of girls pointing at me. They make their way out of the drive-thru and slow down by the tables. One of the girls yells out the window.

  “I didn’t know you were allowed to mingle in society. Shouldn’t you be at home with an ankle monitor or something?” Laughter explodes as they drive away.

  I stand up, grab my keys out of my pocket, and give him a sad smile. “I’m sorry. I should go.” Just as I was starting to feel like I am living a different person’s life and having a nice time, it’s crushed. I never get to just hang out with people. Embarrassed by what just happened, I rush to my car. I’d thought I might have been able to finally dream about being a normal girl for once. It had felt euphoric for a moment at least. I am just hoping Frank is asleep when I get home, so I don’t have to explain where I have been.

  Chapter Seven

  The last two days have gone pretty similar as they always have since before Dixon came into town. I have just been lying low around the house, not trying to stir the pot or infuriating Frank. I don’t want him reminding me of what he is capable of doing. I have seen first-hand what that is and I lost my mother because of it.

  I make sure everything has been done around the house and all the errands have been done, so I can have a Saturday off. I plan on telling Frank I am going to the library to study and hope he doesn’t make any waves about it. I check my phone to look at the time. It’s getting close to when I have to meet up with Jase. I chose to meet him at the park. I don’t want him anywhere around my house. I really want to hang out with him and get to know him. There is something about his smile that melts my heart and makes it impossible to say no to him.

  I start to get nervous. I haven’t had much interaction with anybody since my mom died trying to save me. The only other person I have really talked to is Mark. We don’t even talk about much. He just seems to understand my need for tattoos.

  I sneak out my door, hoping the floor doesn’t creak. When I make it outside I let out a breath that I didn’t even realize I have been holding in and swiftly make my way to my car.

  Even though I am in the safety of my car, I know I am not out of the woods yet. Frank can still call me and make me come home.

  I arrive at the park about ten minutes later, pull into a spot, and cut the engine. I feel my heart rate start to pick up. I try to take calming breaths to ease my nervousness. I am a couple of minutes early, so I get out of my car and look around to see if I can spot Jase’s car. I head over to a bench near the entrance of the park where I can see the cars as they arrive.

  A moment later Jase pulls in. The butterflies instantly take flight, fluttering around the pit of my stomach. I am excited that I agreed to try this crazy activity of his. I see him pull out a backpack and he head toward me. I am just hoping that I don’t fall to my death trying to climb these huge boulders that are stacked on top of each other. I hope I wore the right shoes for this.

  “Hi,” he says very shyly, but shows his megawatt bright smile.

  “Hey. How are you?” I say shakily. I hope he can’t tell how nervous I am. This is all new to me and I am trying to live by the saying of my new tattoo. Live for the moment. I can do this, I think to myself and start to smile genuin
ely. A sudden ease takes over my body as he reaches out and grabs my hand and starts to pull me to the trail.

  “The trail will lead us to the spot we’ll be climbing. It’s about a half mile walk. You ready?”

  “Okay… I…um hope I’m wearing the right stuff. I didn’t know what to wear since this is my first time doing this.” I stop walking when we reach the trailhead. I need a little boost to get me to start up that trail. I stand there picking my nails looking to the ground avoiding any eye contact. He grabs my hand again.

  “You’re dressed fine. Don’t worry so much. This is going to be fun. I don’t want you thinking about that stuff. This is supposed to be relaxing and fun. I’m glad that this is a first for you and I get to share it with you.”

  He lifts my chin with his hand, setting my skin on fire where he is touching me. Our eyes lock. I can see the softness in his eyes.

  “So, I’ll ask you again. Are you ready?”

  I nod my head slightly. My body complies and follows his lead. Feeling out of place, I keep messing with my hair, twirling it around my finger until it gets stuck. I am unsure of what to do with my hands. I don’t want to look like a fidgeting mess, so I shove my hands in the pockets of my sweatshirt. Although the walk is short, it’s intense. I am out of breath. I feel a pain in my side, which is probably from not being used to the exercise. Completely winded, I pant out, “Hold up, I have to take a break.”

  I place my hands on my knees and take a couple huge slow breaths to try and stop the stabbing under my ribs. Jase walks back to where I am.

  “You okay?”